Simplicity in communication
Three rules that have changed how I lead and respond.
A quick story
Nearly 10 years ago I met an experienced change leader and communicator, Nigel Smith.
Nigel gave me a load of small “eureka” moments. Sharing with me how we communicate, especially when leading or inspiring others.
Later, Nigel set up a public speaking club for people working in project and change management. It has been incredibly helpful to me, and I’m proud to now serve as President of that club, having taken over from Nigel.
I can’t pass on everything I’ve learned. But, I can share three simple rules that have made a real difference for me.
Use them to make it easier to step into someone else’s shoes and apply their experience.
Rule 1: Listen to understand, not to reply
Many listen with one goal: to speak next.
Instead, try listening to understand.
How? A simple technique: Play back the words the other person is saying in your head, exactly as you hear them.
- You will hear them twice.
- You will listen more deeply.
- You’ll see it, people will feel heard.
Rule 2: Have an opinion and explain why
In our public speaking club (Toastmasters), we practise responding quickly to questions.
I have found one of the best techniques for responding quickly is starting with your point, then explaining it.
How? Remember PREP:
- Point – say what you think straight away.
- Reason – explain why.
- Example – add a short explanation or example.
- Point – restate your position.
PREP helps you structure your thinking and respond clearly, even under pressure. It’s simple, and it works.
Rule 3: Don’t apologise for everything
There is an unwritten rule in Toastmasters: don’t apologise unnecessarily.
How? Resist the temptation to say sorry, or apologise when:
- Feeling slightly underprepared.
- It’s your first time doing something.
- Making a minor mistake.
You are a human being, doing your best, that’s enough and you shouldn’t be expected to be perfect.
Of course, if you genuinely hurt someone or did something wrong, then apologise.
I have found that repeatedly apologising can quietly undermine your confidence and authority. This small shift has helped me feel calmer and more grounded in difficult moments.
Your Action
Pick one conversation coming up this week. Try just one of the three.
- Will I listen to understand?
- Will I state my view clearly and explain why?
- Will I avoid apologising unless it’s truly needed?
Take a page out of Nigel and my books, try applying one of these simple rules. Notice what changes.
Greg
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